Comics I'm only disappointed that Dr. Hormone's super power isn't making teenagers break out.

30 Things So the pretentious lecturing snobs at the Sydney Morning Herald’s section devoted to ensuring house prices continue to rise and ensure that no one they lecture to can even hope for more than reading their columns, let alone implementing their “requirements” (otherwise known as Domain), have now published a list of the 30 things you must have in your home to accompany the 30 things they previously published that you must not have. Must-have’s are: 1. Non-stick saucepans. Really? Because cast iron is too hard or stainless steel too prone to discoloured by inept cooks? Do they not know that even the best non-stick start to lose their virtue and eventually start flaking off into your food? 2. A dinner table. Because we have room, don’t we? Always. Everyone. Especially sufficient room to have a dinner party. 3. “Furniture that didn’t once belong to your parents”, which is probably not much of a problem, if your parents are still alive, as they are likely to still be using theirs. 4. Art. Actually, I can get behind this one. It’s not hard to have a nice piece of original art you like and will enjoy for years. 5. A plant. C’mon, buy some flowers now and then, if you really need indoor foliage. 6. Grow-your-own herbs – on the balcony, if you’ve got one (and doesn’t everyone), or tomatoes in the garden (ditto). Much as I appreciate that the new economy approaching will require us to grow our own food as much as possible or starve, this isn’t very feasible for the vast majority of people desperately searching Domain for a place to rent or to buy. 7. A full set of cutlery. By which they mean a set, matched, not just a collection of knives and forks and spoons. Does anyone actually care? 8. A full set of wine glasses, reds and whites. Nice to have, but how many of each? And did you know that Riesling may use a different glass than chardonnay and so on? It’s true, if you’re pretentious enough. 9. Filing system. An organised drawer to put things in that you won’t look at for years, if ever at all, but are still required to keep for at least seven years, just in case the tax man comes looking. This is item 2 in the actually worthwhile list. 10. Books. Specifically recommended are four worth reading and some crap. 11. An electric blanket. Your power bills aren’t high enough. Use more coal. 12. A cat. Don’t do it. Really. And not a dog, a fish, a bird, a lizard, a snake, or whatever else alive you think you should have. They will rule your life. I love my cats, but if I didn’t have them, I wouldn’t. 13. Home automation. Go ahead, pretend you’re Tony Stark. I know where all the light switches are and the power points and why isn’t that enough? The refrigerator is automatic, but beyond that I really don’t see the point. 14. Good bed linen. This is item 3 on the worthwhile list. (10% Not getting even a D- at this point.) 15. Bread knife. (13% now; still not a pass.) 16. Throw pillows. Because the furniture you bought isn’t comfortable. You couldn’t afford comfortable furniture without stealing it from your parents, not with the rent you’re paying. 17. “A solution to every conceivable household problem”, which specifically mentions mosquito coils – good idea, 15% - and a “failsafe remedy for removing red wine stains” that isn’t throwing out the stained material. Good luck with that; no points. 18. “Cool fridge magnets”, because why? Because no. 19. A bowl near the door to keep your keys. Half points. Having a consistent place to put your keys is smart, but the bowl by the door means a table by the door and you may not have room. (16%!) 20. Board games. I enjoy these, but I don’t need them. Do you? You don’t have enough good books to read. Work on item 10. 21. Teapot and tea cups. Entirely unnecessary. This should garner negative points. 22. A “feature piece” of furniture or furnishings. I’ve got one of these. It takes up so much of my living room there’s hardly room to live. You have art. Leave it at that. 23. Wooden coat hangers. Don’t have to be wood, and only Joan Crawford will be upset if you use wire. 24. Blender, specifically a “whizz-bang blender”, by which I suppose they mean a thermomix or nutribullet. If you’re not making margaritas, you can do without. 25. Tupperware. This will sort itself out, but try applying portion control, too, and avoid storing leftovers you’ll only just throw out in a year. 26. They skip this one. Not sure if that’s a maths problem or editing. As it’s the online edition, I suspect editing, which generally sucks in online publications. 27. Cookbooks. Entirely unnecessary. Read the recipes in the paper, learn a few stalwarts, and move on. These are just dust-collectors and don’t count as books. 28. Toolkit. Definitely. With a power drill, a hammer, adjustable head screwdriver, and a collections of screws etc. Go from there, but keep it limited so you can find what you’re looking for. 20%! 29. Wine decanter. If you’re a pretentious git. Just let the bottle breathe for 30 minutes or more and don’t think it’ll still be good next week. 30. “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up”, by someone named Marie Kondo. Just clean now and then, and you’ll be fine. The things you shouldn’t have in your home after age 30? 1. Unframed prints and posters: if they’re worth keeping, they’re worth a frame. I have two. 2. Trophies on display. You kept them? Dude, that was high school. High school sucked. 3. Pine furniture. Purely a matter of taste, although I’d have to agree with this. 4. Ikea anything. Now that’s just silly. Billy bookcases are excellent, and you should see the things you can do with a couple of Lack tables and the stuff in your toolbox. If you can afford better, and more comfortable, by all means, but some of this stuff is too utilitarian to give up. And did you know that their office chair was rated #2 for ergonomics? That was a couple of years ago, but it was the best one I’ve ever used. 5. Incomplete dishes and cutlery. See at 7, above, which doesn’t mention dishes. If you have enough plates and bowls to serve your friends, I’ll bet they don’t care if they match. 6. Shot glass collection. I wouldn’t, but people do. I’ve got more Doc Savage paperbacks from the 1960’s than you do and some other things that could be said to constitute a collection. I’m not entirely proud of them, but neither am I ashamed. Meanwhile, at 18, above, they think fridge magnets are cool. At least with shot glasses you can have a contest, if you’re so inclined. 7. Inflatable furniture. Generally yes, but it doesn’t hurt to have one of those mattresses they’ve got these days, which can be surprisingly comfortable, for as long as they retain the capacity to hold air. 8. Lava lamps. The explanation for not having them is incomplete, at best. It’s because they stop working eventually and then you have to get a new one. 9. Kitschy picture frames. Absolutely agree. 10. Mosquito net. Oh, but mosquito coils are o.k. (see at 17, above)? These things work. 11. Fake plants. Yes, o.k., but you don’t need real ones, either. 12. Unopened mail. You don’t open your mail right away or bin it with the recycling? What’s wrong with you? Most banks and so forth will let you opt for email anyway. 13. CDs or DVDs on display. Where else are you going to put them? They can actually be as decorative as books, and like books you are going to use them. Having them handy is sensible. 14. Anything under your bed. Does that count monsters? Or just storage and dust? 15. Dust. You do it. I hired someone. That’s as far as I’ll go. 16. Beanbags. People still do this? 17. Anything covering a window that isn’t a curtain. Anything fabric that you hang off a rod is a curtain. Venetian blinds, on the other hand, are an abomination (see at 15, especially). 18. Glow in the dark stars. Unless you have kids, sure, o.k. Personally, I say, good luck to you. Have the stuff or don’t have the stuff. Eventually you’ll meet someone and start seeing these things differently and may choose to alter the mix. Unless they like it, too. Then you’ll only have to worry when you have pets or children that will attempt to eat some of these things, at which point you can put them away for later.

Movies Australian movies tend to be very bleak or very silly (much as I enjoyed the last one I saw: Mad Max: Fury Road), but sometimes they're just good. Last Cab to Darwin being an excellent example. Based on a stage play, unlike many other such productions, it's very natural, perhaps because of having the whole of the Outback to be expansive in, but more likely because Michael Caton, as Rex, is just so good. Yes, all the other characters are secondary, yet still drawing on some serious Australian acting talent, so he has to carry the movie, but he does, and it's no mean feat, especially when he's often been a comic actor, perhaps best known for The Castle. Defintely deserves viewing in a cinema.

The Need for Speed A whole minute faster than two years ago's City Mile Dash? That's what it says. Makes my whole weekend.

City2Surf 2015 4 minutes slower than last year, but I'll take it.

Grown-ups To make up for all the B-movies I've been seeing (and will attend later this year), we went to see Mr. Holmes last week. Ian McKellan makes a very fine Sherlock, but for all the Holmes of the movie, this is about memory, how it is a trap of shame and an opportunity for redemption. All the players are terrific, and the movie doesn't really falter in any way until the very end, and even then, it hardly matters, and is of a piece with the MacGuffin of the mystery.

Movies The winter blockbuster season continues. Serious movies have to start coming out soon, or my brain will rot. Terminator Genisys continues the fine tradition of unnecessary misspellings, unless it’s just that Skynet’s spellcheck failed in its mission, as its robots usually do, but manages to entertain, largely with its revisions to the original film, playing with alternative realities like a good time-travel movie should. (Did you know that Twelve Monkeys was made into a television show? Neither did I.) The human heroes of the movie have zero chemistry and the villain doesn’t get really villainous until fairly late, but it doesn’t stop moving and Arnie’s as good as he ever was. For a B-movie, it’s not half bad. Call it a B+. Meanwhile, the Marvel juggernaught keeps churning out enjoyable films. Ant-Man , like Guardians of the Galaxy doesn’t take itself too seriously, with decent comical characters, mostly, and gags tossed through to the point where it might as well have been played entirely as a comedy. Certainly the personal-lives plot parallels between the original, Hank Pym, and the replacement he recruits, Scott Lang, are lightly sketched enough to have been dispensed with. I guess it would be asking too much for the sountrack to have been modeled on Guardians. I know I said I was done with comicbook movies, but this is still a movie to see if you’ve got time and a discount voucher, and I had both. So, in another couple of weeks, out comes the latest franchise reboot, with Fantastic Four. Yes, I will go see this.

Bad Burger So David Chang, celebrity chef, thinks Australians can’t make a good burger (except at Mary’s? I’ve had theirs, and once was plenty). Anyone recommending American cheese as the sole cheese for a burger has no taste, or no tastebuds, so I’m pretty well inclined to discount all Chang’s cuisine in consequence, although I agree with the inclusion of pickles – something Mary’s burgers neglect (so go figure why he gives them a pass). American cheese should be called “cheeze”. Is McDonald’s his paragon burger restaurant? On the other hand, scientist chef Heston Blumenthal makes an effort: his burger does it all. I watched this episode of his program, and he was even testing the bite radius. O.k., the grinding and patty formation is a little over the top, but we’re talking science! Notice, however, the use of gruyere cheese. How good is that? Oh, well, it’s not like I was even going to try any David Chang food: his Sydney branch is in a casino. He ever starts selling his recommended burgers, he’s going to lose those stars.

Unextinction As far as I can tell there are two reasons for Jurassic World: reboot the franchise and make a lot of references to past giant-monster movies. It’s entertaining, certainly, and pretty much gets right into the whole running-and-screaming thing, but what I really enjoyed were the references to King Kong, Jaws, etc. That must have been fun for the filmmakers. I think I need to see a French movie, as a palate cleanser, before Ant Man comes out.

Rock Opera One of the great failings of rock ‘n’ roll, especially in its days of aspiration to being “classical”, i.e., the 1970’s, was the Rock Opera. This was, I think a fundamental misunderstanding that all music is folk music, and that rock was, essentially, no different from anything ever written by Mozart or Beethoven or Monk or Parker or whomever you’d like to distinguish the forms as superior/inferior over the ages or just last year. If rock did anything different from classical it was to keep it short, and if it did anything different from the blues or jazz it was, well, to make it more broadly popular for a moment than the form that it was ripping off. One thing that appears to be true, however, is that the overarching category of “rock”, but which encompasses pop music generally, has not actually changed in form in any significant fashion for the last hundred years, effectively since jazz became popular. Nevertheless, it’s no less effective, no less evocative than it ever has been, and is now more artistically representative than ever before. Today, going to a musical stage production, watching a television show, listening to the soundtrack of a movie, you’re very likely going to hear material that is or is more akin to rock ‘n’ roll than ten or twenty years ago, because pop music is at this time more universal than at any time previously. That’s not a bad thing. At least not for most of us living today. Whereas once the ability to play an instrument or sing accompaniment was an important factor in social behaviour, that isn’t true, and hasn’t been for at least fifty years or more. More significantly, we have, since the 1980’s, at least, imbued our lives with our own personal soundtracks, to the point where we can hardly stand, it seems, to be without the appropriate music the appropriate time. Which brings me to B-Girl, a one-act musical production, just finishing up at the Sydney Opera House. It’s the story of a housewife who retreats into fantasies of glam-rock stardom, and it’s a production that deserves a much broader audience than just the basement playhouse of the SOH. I’ve seen a lot of mainstream and off-beat theatrical productions over the years, and I truly believe this one could very easily be the next “Hedwig” or more. I think there are some tweaks yet – as I understand it, some of the more “theatrical” effects had to be abandoned, due to technical issues (and let’s all be grateful for lessons learned from Broadway’s attempt at “Spiderman”, eh?), and their reintroduction could help. Mainly, I’m concerned with getting the spine of the narrative more firmly established before the rest is fleshed out, but it still works, as-is, and that’s important. This is a production that can go far, and with a little push, further still. I’d love to see it at BAM, and it’s almost “Next Wave”, but might need just a little more to get there. Meanwhile, I’m sure it will do well on its global tour, when that comes, including NYC, but Berlin, London, Paris, the world. I am very enthusiastic about this show.

Insane Mad Max: Fury Road is MADNESS! It's beyond good. ZOMG! Tom Hardy channels all the best of Mel Gibson, Charlize Theron is the best two-armed actress playing a one-armed hero you could ever hope for (and more), and George Miller has finally made the Mad Max movie he's always wanted. Unmissable. Yes, it's one big car chase with really loud music and practically no dialog, but it all works, all hangs together. While it feels at first as if it's started in the middle, it has: in the middle of the ongoing heroic epic of Max Rockatansky in the wastelands of the petrochemical-based capitalist extremities when it's finally all gone to hell. And redemption is only possible by sacrifice, which Max enacts to the purest merging of Joseph Campbell and the New Testament, a Moses/John the Baptist merger to Imperator Furiosa's Virgin Mary/Jesus combo. Yeah, a Jesus motif, as so often happens in the movies, but in full action hero mode to boot, driving out the money changers, or the crazy dictatorial war lords controlling the water, anyway. I may not have left this one as jazzed as from a Bourne movie, and more deaf, but it was still an absolute thrill ride.

Weekending So this weekend was, effectively, the end of the Vivid Festival, in Sydney, and although we didn't get out to see the lights, per se, I took advantage to follow up on a birthday present of two years ago, to engage in a little photographic instruction, from Photo Workshop Australia, in shooting at night. Vivid was a great opportunity to pick up a few techniques, although the course wasn't so much in the hows and whys as it was just about getting good shots. Some of which, I think, did indeed turn out o.k. Unfortunately, I didn't think to enroll B. in the course, which I'm sure she'd have enjoyed, but we headed up to the Blue Mountains on Saturday to have a weekend away in the start of the cold. We ended up in Mount Victoria, a bit further on than we usually go, due to booking late for the holiday weekend, but also to have a go at some of the bushwalks we hadn't previously attempted, down the other side of the ridge. We hardly saw anyone else, something very unusual up there, and that was an added attraction. The walks weren't hard, but they weren't all that easy, either, if maybe a little shorter than we sometimes attempt. Very nice scenery, too, including a "bush ranger's cave", a cleft of some considerable depth and notable dryness, from back in the day. Later, Mount Wilson offered a bit of cascades.

Stateless The Prime Minister, Tony Abbott, is putting forward, at the behest of the most extreme right-wing of his party, a proposal to remove Australian citizenship from dual citizens found to have engaged in terrorist acts, most particularly of going to the Middle East to join ISIS, but without a judicial hearing. The Immigration Minister would be able to judge whatever evidence or allegation and strip such persons of citizenship, effectively removing them from access to the legal system and any hope of redress. Worse, the fascists are proposing that birthright citizens should also be subject to the removal of citizenship, rendering them stateless. I don’t use the term “fascists” lightly. This is exactly how they have positioned themselves politically, making citizens servants of the state, rather than the other way around. This is a bad plan, all up. There is no value in removing people from the rule of law. It makes much more sense to expand the rule of law, if such was necessary (and it isn’t; the law we need are already in place), to embrace them, and hold them accountable properly. It is cowardice, pure and simple. Hysterical fear-mongering cloaked in the flag, and pandering to racists. Andrew Nikolic must be the stupidest man in Parliament.

Billy Two-Toes' Rainbow Opalised dinosaur bones recognised as new species. Found only three years after the Hugh Atkinson novel, it makes you wonder how much else of opals out there are made of monsters from the past.

The Thrill is Gone B. B. King, dead at 89. Good run. A lot of his contemporaries didn't make it so far. "Live at San Quentin" will have to go on rotation.

Sequels It’s a truth universally acknowledged that the sequel to a successful movie is never as good as the first instalment, or it’s even better. Avengers: Age of Ultron falls somewhere in the middle. It’s very entertaining, certainly, if a bit long, but also full of what has become, effectively, stock-standard sequences. There are attempts to develop the characters, a little, but they don’t add all that much depth. Yes, they are comic book characters, so depth is only ever going to go so far. That scene as the team are walking up to a farmhouse highlights the silliness of it all: you are immediately reminded that they are all wearing rather ridiculous costumes out in the world. Looks like Halloween for some seriously embarrassed grown-ups. Ultron himself was something of a disappointment. Sure, James Spader was perfectly cast as the voice of the mechanical monster, but the physical representation probably should not have had lips or expressive eyes, and probably shouldn’t have been making quite so many jokes or using contractions. The purity of Ultron was always what made him most monstrous, after all. Vision was also rather too human; it was inevitable that Scarlet Witch would have her powers reimagined (“probability hexes” was always a bit of a struggle, so telekinesis and telepathy work a bit better); and where did Falcon fly in from? Never mind, it’s all a set up for a spin-off franchise, West Coast Avengers here we come. Joss Whedon will be remembered better for Buffy than for anything he’s accomplished so far on the big screen, but we can hope.. With the trailers for “Ant Man” and the reboot of “Fantastic Four”, and having sat through this film, I think I’m about over the super hero movies.

Misleadership The Liberal Party of Australia hates Medicare. They hate it purely on the basis that it was introduced by the Australian Labor Party and has been a great, transformative success; and that it is a benefit to the poor. Opposition to Labor is ingrained in this mob. They preference the big end of town on the basis that it from this source that they derive their legitimacy. Therefore any success by Labor must be rolled back. That Medicare has been so successful and so popular presents a challenge to them, however, so they must be duplicitous in how they reverse the program. Deep-seated resentment of the poor in a philosophical matter: like puritanical conservatives of the American Republican party, they believe the poor deserve their condition, that it is a moral failing. This extends to the elderly and sick. Wealth and good health are the rewards of providence for virtue and the evidence of it. So when the current Minister for Health, Sussan Ley, announces a review of Medicare, this would be a welcome development, from any other set of politicians. The review will include all procedures, tests and treatments, on the basis that there is a need to reduce “inappropriate tests and procedures”, because, primarily, many are no longer used. Of course, a test, treatment, or procedure that is no longer used isn’t costing anything, but that’s not the point. The point is to simply to stop spending money on health care. The review will also examine new ways of paying GPs, which is fine, potentially working towards a better system of managed care, to reduce the need for more complex procedures and interventions such as now inevitably arise from the lack of management of conditions such as obesity, diabetes, heart disease, etc. Early intervention and management over the longer term means fewer people needing emergency and more costly interventions later. This, of course, costs money now, but reduces spending overall. Don’t expect this to be an outcome of the review. Instead, expect GP care to become part of private medical insurance coverage, shifting the cost from Medicare to the consumer and killing off bulk-billing as effectively as the previously mooted co-pay and rebate reductions. New rules are expected to be implemented to address the issue of Medicare cheats. But it’s actually doctors rorting the system more so than it is patients, and you would be foolish to believe that’s going to be the focus of the review. Instead, the “Medicare cheating” to be addressed will be rules to make it more difficult for the poor and middle class to access Medicare on the basis they are accustomed to, requiring more out-of-pocket expenditures and a reduction in services. The Australian Medical Association and Consumers Health Forum may welcome the review, but they should be cautious in their embrace of it, like the farmer and the viper. We know who these Liberals are, and their nature.

The System Reading the latest New Yorker (the latest I’ve received to date, delivery being somewhat more delayed than it would be if I were still a local), I encountered an article by Adam Kirsch, ”The System”, reviewing two new books on the Nazi concentration camps, both of which sounding quite excellent and quite terrifying. I was struck by the final paragraph, in a more contemporary context: Australia’s treatment of asylum seekers. ”The impulse to separate some groups of people from the category of the human is, however, a universal one. The enemies we kill in war, the convicted prisoners we lock up for life, even the distant workers who manufacture our clothes and toys – how could any society function if the full humanity of all these were taken into account? In a decent society, there are laws to resist such dehumanisation , and institutional and moral forces to protest it. When guards at Rikers Isalnd beat a prisoner to death, or when workers in China making iPhones begin to commit suicide out of despair, we regard these as intolerable evils that must be cured. It is when a society decides that some people deserve to be treated this way – that it is not just inevitable but right to deprive whole categories of people of their humanity that a crime on the scale of the [concentration camp] ecomes a possibility. It is a crime that has been repeated too many times, in too many places, for us to dismiss it with the simple promise of never again. Australia, it seems, has decided, and we deserve every condemnation for it.

Happy Easter (Please Stop Raining) It had stopped, of course, or a drive into the Blue Mountains for a bit of bush-walking wouldn't have been part of the plan. These aren't Wentworth Falls, just the Empress Cascade, but very pretty, and a nice section of the walk, albeit all uphill and this point. A very nice way to spend Easter.

Last Time (this time) Last business trip to Auckland. Now I have to arrange a holiday in NZ so I can visit properly.