Old Man
When I read Jason Kottke’s Popcorn Hacks, I soon realized that I am an old, old man. Why does popcorn work? Because there’s a bit of moisture inside the kernel that, when it turns to steam, cooks the corn and bursts and outer membrane. Why does microwave popcorn work? Because it does the same thing as the application of heat: turns the liquid into gas. So for you kids playing at home that never cooked up popcorn on the range-top, you don’t actually need to “stir the kernels around with a spoon so they don’t burn”; just keep the pot moving, shaking the kernels. And you don’t need “protective eyewear so that when the first kernels pop, you don’t get hot butter-like liquid in your eye”; you just need a lid for the pot. The rest of the instructions are just like what we used to do as kids.