”Please Use the Word ‘Girt’ in a Sentence”
When I was interviewed for my citizenship application, I was helpfully provided with a copy of the list of Responsibilities and Privileges with which becoming an Australian would endow me, things like Registering to Vote and Running for Office, just to refresh my memory, since I was expected to have learned them all off by heart prior to coming in. At the interview itself, I was required to recite two from each section. (Naturally, one of the privileges I provided was the trickiest to articulate without sounding like some kind of Bali drug smuggler: If I get in trouble overseas, I have the privilege to call for diplomatic assistance – what was I thinking?) I passed anyway. Because I’m a native English speaker, I probably wouldn’t have any trouble with the rest of Andrew Robb’s citizenship test, although the spelling variations do still catch me up sometimes, despite all the English English literature I’ve read, as well as some of what I perceive to be archaic usages still in force here, mostly prepositional. I am not convinced, however, by Mr. Robb’s assertions regarding the use and purpose of the test he’s proposing.

He says it’s for “prospective migrants,” which means it isn’t a citizenship test per se at all: it’s an immigration filter. Prospective migrants who want to become citizens will indeed want to attain a level of conversational English language skills to ease their transition, if they haven’t already, while prospective migrants who don’t want citizenship or aren’t sure before they get here and have a chance to learn something about Australia other than that it’s a safe, free country, may not be so concerned for themselves, much as immigrants to America were more focussed on having their children succeed in the land of opportunity. So when Mr. Robb goes on to address the issue in the specific context of “young Australian Muslims,” his real agenda is indeed revealed, as Ameer Ali of the Federation of Islamic Councils attempts to articulate. (“Without knowing what those values are, we can’t define what those values are”? O.k., maybe there are immigrants in real need of more than basic English skills.) Going on about “sermons in English” and “homegrown imams” only highlights what’s at work in Mr. Robb’s mind. This is the kind of person who, standing in an elevator and hearing people speak a language he doesn’t understand, believes they’re speaking about him, negatively, insultingly, with hostility, maybe. He’s afraid, and he thinks if everybody’s speaking English, it’ll be easier to identify the bad eggs. In fact, he thinks the baddies won’t even bother to come to Australia if they think we’ll be able to listen in on their nefarious plans to disrupt the barbeque or cat-call women on Cronulla beaches.

A citizenship test is fine with me. You should be able to demonstrate that you are serious in your civil commitment to the country, just as much as that country should be serious in its commitment to you (Mamdouh Habib and David Hicks, anyone?). Requiring language skills commensurate with a citizen’s ability to participate in that society also makes sense. Applying a test on migrants before they get here or as a bar to entry, however, is just the White Australia policy all over again. Are we a free society or not?